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    Stats: PL TEAM, 2350 Topics. Date: Saturday, 16th January 2021 at 7:20 PM
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    He shot in the air and my bladder downloaded two bottles of water, I felt like peeing immediately.

    Mr. Okoye: I repeat, who among ona two wan drag honourable with me?

    Me: nobody oh, you don win.

    Ugochukwu: yes… Nobody *his voice shaking*

    Me sef no even recognize my own voice, it was sounding like those primary two children with twelve teeth.

    Soldier: frog jump!

    I quickly got up and started jumping like frog, you see that koboko? The fear of that koboko is the beginning of wisdom. Ugochukwu follow me jump too, I think say em go prove stubborn at least.

    Mr. Okoye: fools!

    Ugochukwu and I: thank you sir.

    We were still jumping beside the roadside when he ordered his army to follow him, they got into their cars and drove off.

    I immediately opened my zipper and started urinating, na that day I recorded the longest urine of my life, no be joke oh.

    Ugochukwu: o boy! *he exhale*

    Me: *I stare at his trouser* why water full here *I touch his di*ck area* guy you piss for trouser *I start laughing*

    Ugochukwu: *wipe the sweats on his face* no be small thing, this man nodey smile with you oh!

    Me: I swear, make we commot here before em go send assassin.

    We went inside the car and some passers-by witnessed the scene, naso I wan win election when my opponent dey intimidate me anyhow.

    I need to man up, we got to my house and Ugochukwu went inside the bathroom and spent some quality time, immediately he came out.

    Ugochukwu: give me pu-ssy, I need am before I die.

    Me: trailer of stupidity hit you, I resemble girl for your eyes.

    Ugochukwu: *hiss* you need tight securities for this thing oh.

    Me: na true talk be that, my go arrange security.

    I went outside the room and called Jojo, with two other strong men in the yard to my room.

    Four of us entered the room and I saw Ugochukwu sleeping on my bed.

    Me: *I slap his leg* guy, get up!

    Ugochukwu: *he wake up* wetin again?

    Me: I don bring the securities.

    Ugochukwu: *he see the three of them and face me* wey them?

    Me: see my CSO *I point at Jojo* the two others na guards.

    Ugochukwu: them fit withstand soldier as them dey like people wey never see food.

    Me: you wan be the security?

    Jojo: honourable…

    Me: pepper the honourable with ‘talk and do’

    Jojo: honourable talk and do, your security is assured.

    Ugochukwu: ona get guns? *they look at each other in confusion*

    Me: guy, warn yourself. We nodey go war, na politics.

    Ugochukwu: the man take am as war.

    Me: just die the matter.

    I discussed with the three guys and asked them to gym, and always be around my room. I promised to pay them handsomely,

    Later madam Stella called.

    Madam Stella: sugar boy.

    Me: good evening, Stella *na she talk my call am by her name oh*

    Madam Stella: shut up! answer your di*ck is ready.

    Me: sorry, my di*ck is ready *na wa oh*

    Madam Stella: good boy, I heard what happened.

    News dey travel upon say she dey Abuja, she dey send spy to dey follow me. I wonder sha.. She promised to provide bodyguard when she touched down the State, she also said her husband is coming back to the State. The man don travel since, sometimes I wonder if na him be the governor or em wife.

    After we ended the call, that day went and another day showed up. Ugochukwu was just snoring anyhow beside me.

    Me wey nodey like to wake up around 4am, the idiot woke me up. I rushed go on light, teared out tissues and snugged it inside his nostrils.

    I went back to sleep.

    After sometime, someone woke me up.

    Me: wetin be your problem?

    Ugochukwu: you wan kill me?

    Me: your snore is liable of killing.

    Ugochukwu: no do am again, I no like am.

    I hissed and went back to sleep, suddenly a knock landed on the door. Ugochukwu and I woke up staring at each other for who to open the door.

    Ugochukwu: guy, go open the door?

    Me: why I go go open the door?

    Ugochukwu: I senior you.

    Me: how many years you dey?

    Ugochukwu: them born me for 1960.

    Me: na you never reach 90years… Well my own na 1903… Go open the door.

    Ugochukwu: *the person knock harder on the door* hiaa! You wan break the door? We dey discuss who go open door for you, calm down.

    Voice: honourable talk and do… You don come out for newspaper!

    News wetin?

    To be continued.

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